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Date of Birth
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July 31, 1985
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Date of Death
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January 16, 2011
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Location
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Seattle, Washington
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Cause of Death
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Maternal Mental Health
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Who She Was
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Her Story
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text css=”” el_class=”profile-story”]Kaylan was 25 yrs, 5 mo, 16 days when she died of untreated depression & OCD, and undertreated anorexia/bulimia – resulting in suicide – in January of 2011. Kaylan’s friends have organized a foundation which organizes benefit concerts in her memory, in order to raise awareness about mental illness and the dangers of self-medicating with alcohol and/or drugs, and to help NAMI fight stigma associated with these treatable medical issues. Kaylan’s two favorite Seattle bands graciously agreed to play the first benefit show which was a huge success, both societally and financially. There are also two KRC4LIFE teams who have committed to walk for NAMI StigmaBusters. One in Denver and one in Seattle. Good job teams KRC! A new annual StigmBusting event has been instituted to celebrate her birthday each July 31st. It is named “International WEAR A TUTU DAY!” The 2011 event was celebrated in three US cities and one European city. People wore tutus in public, talked about Kaylan, and handed out informational flyers about how to find and give help for/to people who suffer mental illness.
A bit about Kaylan: Kaylan played a mean piano and a cool guitar. Her keyboard compositions are exquisite. She loved the wild outdoors as much as she loved the heart of the city of Seattle. She crawled at 18 weeks and walked at 7 months. She learned to ride her bike without training wheels at 3.5 yrs, because she bent them up her ownself with her daddy’s vice grips. She played roller hockey when she was 9 and developed OCD & depression in the same year. She took beautiful photographs. She sang smooth and haunting harmony. She was extremely shy yet exuded confidence. She took her first college class at 11- poetry of course. She adored junior high stage productions. She was hospitalized for depression at 13. She started smoking at 15 and developed anorexia/bulimia when she was 16. She traveled in Europe for 6 months doing volunteer work in 5 different countries at 18. She went to Guatemala with her younger brother to study Spanish when they were 18 & 19. Her dad died when she was 20, and she never fully recovered from this loss. She achieved her dream of attending the University of Washington linguistics program at age 20, but depression took that away from her in her senior year. From age 21 until her death she lived in Seattle – the city of her dreams. Her last mental health provider fell in love with her and TOLD her, so she would never seek treatment again. She played World of Warcraft with her cousin Matt. She adored her family – immediate & extended. Kaylan lost a baby 6 months before she died, and it seems she suffered from postpartum psychosis but was not able to tell anyone until far too late in her illness.
She watched The Young Turks every Tuesday. Her favorite fiction authors were Paulo Coelho and Anne McCaffrey. She loved humanity and hated cruelty. She loved all kinds of world music, from classical to rap. She worked as a telemarketer, preschool teacher, construction office manager, sandwich artist, and bartender among other jobs. Being a preschool teacher was her FAVORITE job, and she planned to begin Montessori training in September of 2011. She LOVED children and animals. She was a wonderful cat mama, and her kitties are both very confident, friendly, and like to be kissed on the nose.
She appears to have been struggling with risky alcohol and medication misuse on and off for ten years, and especially during the last couple years of her life. She was unbelievably beautiful inside and out, but never felt special. The point here is to say that she was not simply a depressed person who took her own life. She was complex, gorgeous, brilliant, talented, delightful, deep, caring, loving, irreverent, kind, free spirit who also happened to suffer from a depression and anorexia/bulimia which were exacerbated by risky alcohol use. HER TRAGIC DEATH FROM DEPRESSION WAS A VERY SMALL PART OF AN ACTIVELY GIVING AND LOVING LIFE, a life in which she touched many other souls and inspired them to do the most with what life offered them. We know this because of the many people have written to her family and friends with memories of her – in detail – about how exactly she helped them. Almost every one of her close childhood friends came to her funeral, reception, and waterside farewell from several different cities, states, and countries.
Coworkers came from jobs long past, and four of her life loves, past and present, attended her funeral – three of them even managed to perform a beautiful song during the service. It is an enigma – how Kaylan Rose could be so very loved, and so helpful to others, yet be unable to express her own need for help. BUT THIS IS WHAT UNTREATED MENTAL ILLNESS DOES. IT LIES TO THE SUFFERER, TELLING HER THAT SHE IS NOT NEEDED. THAT SHE IS NOT WORTHY. Depression robs people of their feeling of worthiness, but it doesn’t have to be like that. MENTAL ILLNESS IS TREATABLE. EATING DISORDERS ARE TREATABLE. ALCOHOL AND DRUG PROBLEMS ARE TREATABLE. These medical issues are NOT character defects.PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE – ASK FOR HELP IF YOU ARE IN DISTRESS. EVERYONE IS NECESSARY![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/3″][vc_column_text css=”” el_class=”profile-links-header”]
Memorials
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Articles
[/vc_column_text][vc_btn title=”The Girl on the Bridge” color=”chino” align=”center” css=”” button_block=”true” link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fseattlefriends.org%2Ffiles%2FThe_Girl_on_the_Bridge.pdf|target:_blank”][vc_btn title=”Seattle Met” color=”chino” align=”center” css=”” button_block=”true” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fwww.seattlemet.com%2Feditors-note-1%2F2011%2F06%2Fseattle-met-editors-note-july-2011|target:_blank”][/vc_column][/vc_row]
